feat. Open Mike Eagle
Produced By: Sammus
CHORUS
I’m throwing a pity party
Fuck you to everybody
Unless you feel me pain
Don’t even get me started
I’m hearing the tick tock
Of the big clock
I and to pray to the Lord
To make this stop
I’m throwing a pity party
Fuck you to everybody
Unless you feel me pain
Don’t even get me started
I’m hearing the tick tock
Of my wrist watch
Cut my wrist off
And then it stops
VERSE
What am I doing?
Is it worth me pursuing degrees?
I don’t even know I'm gon' do if
I’m 37 and I’m still a student
Can’t focus on music
I be comparing myself to my friends I know
It's a bad habit I try hard to let it go
I admit I been feeling pathetic so
I keep on thinking in all hypotheticals
Every minute it’s
What if I dropped out?
What if I stopped now?
What if I…?
Well where would I be now?
And how would my beats sound
On Spotify?
I try to be grateful
After all it’s the first world
But when I’m alone and I’m looking on Facebook
I feel like a cursed girl
Social media show me where I’d rather be
Like out on the beach while I’m riding a beat
To cover my pain I stay making small talk
I remain a big catch in a small pond
I should probably log-off
But I got a few fans who would pop-off
So I stay to give props to the people who got me
Support and defend me at all costs
The tale is ever so tall
That if you be good then you will receive
Cuz I’ve been giving my all
But I’m still the same exact hue as mystique
My passion don’t pay for my lights
So I do things I hate and it’s painful it's like
I should swallow the red pill and ease my nerves
To get rid of the feeling of dreams deferred
CHORUS
VERSE [Open Mike Eagle]
Steadily inhaling blow and exhaust
Get where I'm going don't know what it costs
Swear in my heart what I'm doing is art
How come ain't nobody roping it off?
American losing my African-ness
Trying to sneak a peak at the abyss
I know how to breathe but I don't though
And I don't know
And I don't know
Tell myself shut the fuck up
So I can focus on focusing
Who am I arguing with though?
I dig through the pavement
Cuz I want to touch on the earth
With the tip of my tip toe
Spend half my life in a disco
And rappers be telling me get low
I'm already there so I get high
Forbidding my animal-ness
From chasing that vaginal bliss
Life is a body mechanic
Vestigial teeth in my animal jaw
Remind me of handing out mandible claws
I might be a ship that never sales
Thinking of failure that never fails
Everywhere I look I see a degree of associate
Doing much better should I look for openness
Focus on my shit
Focus on focusing
Focus my focus on focusing
Yeah...
CHORUS
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